I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
