i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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