I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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