seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
