I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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