Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
