There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
