I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
