"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did