Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.

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  (508): she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her. http://tfl.nu/2xab
  Replies (50) Good night (687) Bad night (3364) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Thank you Grey Goose.

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  (703): By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out. (703): Thank you Grey Goose. http://tfl.nu/neos
  Replies (18) Good night (666) Bad night (2191)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.

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  (571): I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad. http://tfl.nu/ovcp
  Replies (48) Good night (5093) Bad night (1606) Order T-Shirt
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs

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  (308): and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs http://tfl.nu/sqwd
  Replies (32) Good night (9877) Bad night (1668) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.

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  (905): She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was. http://tfl.nu/uuuj
  Replies (14) Good night (1520) Bad night (5093) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wasted some perfectly good semen on her

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  (814): I wasted some perfectly good semen on her http://tfl.nu/b11w
  Replies (17) Good night (903) Bad night (4960) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.

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  (904): Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone. http://tfl.nu/zr80
  Replies (9) Good night (2994) Bad night (1342) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.

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  (314): It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage. http://tfl.nu/ccnt
  Replies (13) Good night (2562) Bad night (1259) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?

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  (540): is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious? http://tfl.nu/lq7k
  Replies (7) Good night (5076) Bad night (899) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked

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  (360): if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked http://tfl.nu/kcmn
  Replies (24) Good night (5011) Bad night (1835)
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  (585): View more from New York

  So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?

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  (585): So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar? http://tfl.nu/e57l
  Replies (9) Good night (1173) Bad night (523) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days

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  (773): I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days http://tfl.nu/nte6
  Replies (9) Good night (2528) Bad night (847) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.

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  (704): She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast. http://tfl.nu/wpj9
  Replies (4) Good night (1558) Bad night (448)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.

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  (205): Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight. http://tfl.nu/1hhy
  Replies (11) Good night (2526) Bad night (432)
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  (619): View more from California

  Topless dodge ball cldnt top that

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  (619): Topless dodge ball cldnt top that http://tfl.nu/nbsl
  Replies (6) Good night (755) Bad night (225) Order T-Shirt

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