You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
