spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............