i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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