I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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