Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
