You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
