remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
