this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Randomize
