I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
