His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
