she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
only you would photoshop your dick
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
