remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
