so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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