fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
