Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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