I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
This girl is more easily done than said...
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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