SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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