I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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