is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
