You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize