I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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