Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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