Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize