God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
