At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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