how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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