so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
