they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
being pregnant is like rehab
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
