I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
