In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
