Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
