how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
