Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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