Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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