no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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