This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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