We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
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We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
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He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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