1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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