god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
