peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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