I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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