I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
