dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
