I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
