lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
