i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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