the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize