Ambien. No doubt about it.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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