why didn't you poke me back
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize