I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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