alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
