If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
