you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
