Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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