In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
