Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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