considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Randomize
