Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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