Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
