based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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